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In a world that often asks us “What’s wrong?” or “What’s the matter with you?” It can feel like our struggles define us. We’re constantly bombarded with questions that focus on what’s not working ➡️ our stresses, challenges, and mistakes. But what if we flipped the script? What if, instead of asking "What’s wrong with you?" we asked, "What matters to you?"
This question shifts the conversation. It moves the focus away from what’s weighing us down and toward what lights us up. In our recent lesson with the girls at Esperanza, we explored this powerful reframe through the theme of nature and its ability to help us cope with life’s stressors.
Lesson 4 was all about understanding stress. Both the small, everyday stresses we all experience and the bigger, life-altering stresses, like financial challenges or identity struggles. We talked about how, while some stresses may resolve quickly, others stick with us and can feel overwhelming. These types of stress can weigh us down, but exploring nature can offer a release and provide us with a sense of peace and grounding.
To bring this idea to life, we created mason jar terrariums, tiny ecosystems that the girls crafted themselves. This activity introduced the idea of "soil therapy," a simple yet profound way to connect with nature. The process of getting their hands dirty, arranging the plants, and building something from the ground up not only gave the girls a beautiful reminder to take home, but also demonstrated how nature can help us feel calmer and more in control when things get overwhelming.
While creating their terrariums, we asked the girls to think about the things that matter to them. In our program, we emphasize this approach of asking, "What matters to you?" instead of focusing on "What’s wrong?"—a practice that encourages introspection and self-awareness. This question is an invitation to discover the values, passions, and people that bring meaning to our lives.
The difference between these two questions is subtle but significant. "What’s the matter with you?" is a question that often implies something is broken or wrong. It can feel judgmental, even when asked with the best of intentions. On the other hand, "What matters to you?" is powerful. It invites us to look inward, to reflect on what brings us joy, peace, and fulfillment. It’s a question that encourages reflection, and reminds us that we’re more than our struggles.
In the same way that asking "What matters to you?" shifts our mindset, nature can shift how we cope with stress. When we immerse ourselves in the outdoors, whether it’s through a walk in the park, planting a garden, or simply enjoying the crisp, fresh air, it helps us recalibrate. Nature offers a sense of perspective, grounding us in the present moment and reminding us of the beauty and simplicity around us.
As we continue through the Life I Love School program, our goal is to help each girl discover what matters to her. We want to motivate them to embrace their uniqueness, face stress head-on, and build a life that reflects their deepest values.
After all, it's not about what's wrong with us, it's about focusing on what we love and making time for it.
